


love letter

by cottoncandygm



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Canon Compliant, Guilt, How Do I Tag, Idols, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, yangyang is sad boo :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29941902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cottoncandygm/pseuds/cottoncandygm
Summary: yangyang didn’t agree with xiaojun back then but now as he stood all alone in his room his head only filled with tens’ beautiful smile he understood where he was coming from. xiaojun knew the pain of liking someone that couldn’t reciprocate it.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten & Liu Yang Yang, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Liu Yang Yang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	love letter

**Author's Note:**

> i was watching etc and yangyang wrote tens name in his love letter and then he got embarrassed about it and i thought that was the cutest thing ever so here we are :)))

yangyang didn’t mean to fall for ten. he really didn’t! ten wasn’t even his type or even the gender he was interested in but it happened and now yangyang could only look at ten longingly. hoping for something, anything to happen between them. 

before yangyang even thought of ten in that way ten had said that if anyone from the group had a crush on him they'd have to simply get over it because it was never going to happen and yangyang had agreed.

“it would be like very awkward,” yangyang said. 

the rest of the group agreed except for xiaojun who’d been hopelessly in love with jaehyun for a while. 

“feelings don't just disappear, you need to show more sympathy” he argued. 

“jun sympathizing would just give hope and it'll be even harder to move on” 

“i still think you need to be a bit more thoughtful”

yangyang didn’t agree with xiaojun back then but now as he stood all alone in his room his head only filled with tens’ beautiful smile he understood where he was coming from. xiaojun knew the pain of liking someone that couldn’t reciprocate it.

yangyang sighed and wondered why he just had to fall for ten. the guy who had a strict no dating bandmates rule.

but even if ten didn’t have this rule yangyang knew that ten would still never like him because yangyang was childish, scrappy and insecure. ten liked men who were mature, strong and confident.

basically ten liked everything yangyang wasn't and that kept him up on most days.

***

“yangyang pretends to be aloof but he cares a lot about our opinions,” ten laughed at the camera.

“he only cares if it’s you though. i think he hates everyone but you” winwin said.

yangyang shrugged it off. he couldnt argue back because winwin was right. 

yangyang liked distance because it made him unreachable and almost invincible but with ten he was a dumb kid who would overthink everything. 

even the way he breathed.

“well i hate everyone except for yangyang too,” ten said jokingly. 

everyone laughed except for yangyang whose heart was racing from a mere joke made on camera. this is just content for the viewers he repeated in his head but his mind wouldnt listen to him. his heart had taken over.

“sorry can i leave? i feel a little sick” he said as he stood up and covered his face. 

he couldn’t let anyone see the way he looked right now.

***

yangyang laid in bed once again watching fancams and videos of ten to fill the space in his heart that desperately longed for him. 

hed been doing this quite often these days. he felt ashamed of it though. it felt wrong being so in love with his member who was oblivious and clearly had stated he didnt want exactly this happening.

but he couldn’t help it. 

he wished he could. 

he wished he could have fallen for the girl who slipped him her number at a random starbucks last week because that wouldnt have hurt this much. but love doesnt work that way. the heart wants what it wants and refuses to let go even if it hurts.

“yangyang i knocked on your door but you didn’t  
answer, can i come in?”

“huh what, yes?” yangyang said. he was back in reality now.

“is anyone bothering you?” hendery asked as he carefully approached the younger one.

“like who?”

“like maybe ten…”

yangyang was taken aback. he had tried so hard to pretend like everything was the same as usual.

he pretended like his eyes that lingered on ten only did so because he admired him or his hands that always found its way into tens’ only did so because it was cold.

but hendery knew. he somehow always knew.

tell him hes wrong, come on yangyang! 

but yangyang couldnt say anything. he was scared, scared that ten would find out. 

scared that ten would hate him.

“im sorry dont tell ten,” yangyang said as he continuously wiped away his tears that wouldnt stop coming. 

“dont apologize its alright. its out of your control” hendery said as he pulled yangyang close and tight.

***

“ok in three we say hello, welcome to etc” ten said. yangyang nodded, refusing to look at ten. he felt awkward around him ever since hendery brought up his crush on him.

“1,2,3 welcome to- yangyang youre supposed to say it too” ten whined.

“sorry lets do it again” 

so they did it again but yangyangs’ absent mind prevented him from saying the right words.

“yangyang are you ok? youve been out of it for sometime now and honestly its a bit worrying” ten said.

“no its ok”

ten wasnt convinced but he wasnt going to force it so they continued along with the script and picked out the paper with the challenges in them. tens’ challenge was drawing while yangyangs’ was writing a love letter.

is this a sign, yangyang wondered.

***

“time’s up” ten shouted as he hastily took away yangyangs ipad. 

yangyang chewed on his lips anxiously because this time he had crossed a line.

“dear you,  
every time i see you i wonder how it would feel to be so close to you that we’d be left spaceless, maybe breathless. i feel guilty about it though. so guilty. 

and i know you don’t want me and that youd never want me but i cant help but yearn and wonder how youd taste.

and as i write this i know you can feel me shake so be gentle breaking my heart hyung because it already hurts.

1010 <3”

***

the car ride back to the dorms was awkward. neither of them said a word as if speaking would kill them. 

and when they finally got out the car ten spoke.

“i love you as a brother yangyang, nothing more. im sorry” 

“it’s ok”

he wasnt ok though but hopefully this would pass too and it would just be a memory.


End file.
